Las Vegas: More than Just Sin City

I never watch the news. But this week I haven’t been able to turn it off.

On Sunday October 1st, 2017 I was at a rehearsal in a studio near the famous Las Vegas Strip. Our music was blaring as we were going over the steps we had just learned, when the studio owner hurriedly walked in, closed the garage-like door on the far wall and worriedly told us that there was a shooting on the strip and it was suspected that a possible shooter was nearby at the In-n-Out about a block away. With the music off, all you could hear were the blaring sirens outside. Out of precaution, we stopped rehearsal, turned out the lights and sat in the innermost part of the studio walls. We all grabbed our phones and started texting loved ones. Initially, we had no idea the magnitude of what was happening just a few blocks away. As we sat in the corner of the dark studio for two hours, we quickly learned how incredibly horrific this shooting actually was.

Realizing that I had a few friends at the Route 91 Music Festival, I texted them immediately. I was at no point concerned for my own safety, I was confident that we were safe where we were, but I was extremely concerned for those I knew who were in attendance. 

A little after midnight, we decided that we were in the clear and could make our way home. As we made our exit from the studio, we all headed west, away from the strip. What would have taken me about 10 minutes, took me over 40 minutes to get home since many roads were shut down. As I drove, safely out of harms way, to my home, I broke down into tears listening to the radio and learning what had happened. Realizing that I was in my car, alive, heading to my safe and cozy home… something that innocent people would never have the chance to do again. 

When I got home, I immediately tuned on the news. I was up until the early hours of the morning watching, hearing and seeing what happened, in complete shock… trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was mere blocks from where the worst shooting in Modern US History had just occurred. Something I never thought would happen so close to where I was living. That night, throughout all hours and the next morning, I received concerned texts and calls from friends and family, making sure I was okay. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the people who weren’t. After eventually falling sleep, I woke up only a couple hours later, to go to work, where the day dragged on, while I continued to listen to the news. I learned that close to where I was that night, there were stranded survivors who were able to escape the attack, who were waiting for rides home from family members, or whoever would give them a ride. I immediately felt like I had missed my chance to help. If I had known that there were people there, stranded, needing help, I would have driven by and picked up a few people to drive home that night. When I left the studio, I knew that I couldn’t drive toward the strip, but I didn’t know that just a few blocks south of where I was, they needed help. I still wish I would have gone to help make sure at least one of those survivors got home safely. 

This week has been full of emotions. Shock, concern, heartache, guilt, sadness, helplessness. I wish I could’ve done something. I wish I could have helped someone who needed it. 

As the days have passed, we’ve learned more and more about what happen that night. The lives we lost, the ones who were injured, and the hero’s who saved some. Listening to stories of those who bravely ran back into danger to save a stranger, those who held a dying stranger in their arms while they took their last breathe, those who put their fingers in the open bullet wounds of the shot victims, those who transported victims in their personal cars to the hospital and those who used themselves as a human shield to save another. It’s a strange feeling to see the kind of humanity that exists in this world in such a tragic scenario. It’s heartwarming and heartbreaking all at once. 

I’ve had a difficult time this week, figuring out my thoughts and feelings. Constantly reminded by the numerous signs throughout the city, reading “#VEGASSTRONG” or “Thank you first responders” has kept those feelings fresh. I wasn’t there, and I’m not dealing with what thousands of others experienced that night, but I am still a part of this community, I still care, and people I love were still affected. 

I’ve never been particularly proud to say that I live in Las Vegas, especially when I say that I’m a dancer and have to explain that, because of what Vegas in known for. But this week, I couldn’t be more proud to be a part of this community. To see the outpouring of love from everyone has been amazing. Millions of dollars raised, nine hour lines outside blood banks, vigils and memorials created for those we lost. It has been inspiring. Las Vegas is more than just the strip. It’s more than just the glitz, glamour, parties and extravagance. It’s a city of genuine people who truly care about one another and those they’ve never met. 

Thank you to the first responders, the doctors and nurses who rushed in on their night off, the strangers who helped one another, the men and women who risked their lives to save someone else’s. You are the true hero’s. 

I spent last Tuesday night at the vigil on Sahara and Las Vegas Boulevard, just a few blocks from where I live, holding the hands of strangers as we prayed circling the hundreds of lit candles. In that moment, nothing else mattered. There we were, complete strangers of all races, religions, upbringings, political parties and sexual orientations, coming together to honor those affected… because after all, we are all human.

Today for the first time since the tragic shooting, I drove down Las Vegas Boulevard, in front of the Mandalay Bay and the Route 91 lot. It was an eery feeling, knowing what happened there just a few days ago and that I have stood in that exact same lot before . Seeing it still blocked off,  FBI investigators walking around while it was guarded by the police, was surreal. Looking up and seeing the broken windows now covered but still noticeable was chilling. How could someone commit such a crime? We'll never know.

I never thought I’d be so close to something so horrific like this. It has and will forever change the city and those who lived through it. But it reminds you, that there still are great people in the world, and when we all come together for the common good of humanity, amazing things will happen. 

Proudly,

Dorothy in Sin City

Know Yourself and You Are Home

September 1^st, 2017 marked four years since I moved to Las Vegas. September is always a time when I reflect a lot on what has happened since I took that leap. I think about what I’ve experienced over the past few years and how much I’ve grown and learned from my mistakes and challenges. For some reason I’ve had something very specific on my mind lately that I know so many people deal with. It hasn’t been one of my biggest challenges, but it’s always been a constant challenge… Body image.

As a dancer, your body is everything. It is your instrument, your tool, whatever you want to call it. I’ve spent countless hours in front of mirrors, judging myself and my body. I’ve had people comment about my body and I’ve listened to my own minds critiques about how my body isn’t good enough. Growing up in ballet classes in my hometown or at summer programs, I quite often felt like the fat one in the class. And I was never fat! I was constantly surrounded by girls with the “perfect” ballerina bodies… slender, tall, toned, flexible. I’ve always hated my legs. They’re too short, too thick, and too disproportionate to my upper body. I had kids in High School laugh and tell me I had huge calves, or thunder thighs. I had a choreographer in college change my costume because my butt was “too big”. I grew up listening to these things, picking myself apart and paying attention to everything I hated about my body… my legs, my nose, my ears, my feet, my hands, my collar bones, my butt. I wasn’t flexible enough, I wasn’t pretty enough, I wasn’t tall enough. I sometimes felt like I was wasting my time wanting to be a dancer, because I never thought anyone would watch some big thigh, short-legged girl dance. But, I continued because I had hope that for some, it wouldn’t matter how long my legs were, or that I wasn't the most flexible one in the room.

I moved to Las Vegas because I was chasing my dream of dancing professionally. I have been accepted by numerous people as a dancer, not because my body is perfect, but because my body is capable and there’s more to it than just your body. I’m still here, still dancing, still chasing that dream one step at a time with the body that I was given, my physical home for my entire life. 

Over the past four years, I’ve still struggled with how I see my body. I still go to a ballet class and see some stunning dancer and think “I wish I had a body like hers.” I still look in the mirror sometimes and think to myself “I hate my legs”, or “All I can see are the bags under my eyes”, or “I can’t wear my hair like this, it makes my ears stick out”.  It always takes me a moment, to stop and remind myself who I am and how far I’ve come.

I’ve learned to appreciate and embrace my unique qualities. Just a few weeks ago, I was out with some friends and I heard a girl comment to her friend about my legs and butt. Instead of being upset by it, I’ve now come to realize how happy I am to not be shaped like a ruler. (haha!)

I don’t have the perfect body. I have a long torso, cellulite, and my butt won’t fit in everything I try on… but THAT’S OKAY! And I’ve finally gotten to the point where (most of the time) I can say that I’m proud of my body because it has gotten me to where I am now. It isn’t “ideal”… but what is? I’m strong, I’m capable and I can dance… all things that I am because of my imperfect body.

I know so many people (men and women included) deal with body issues and how they see themselves. If there’s anything I could pass on from what I’ve come to accept is that your “flaws” are only as big as you let them to be. You can either allow the societal expectations to chip away at your confidence, or you can embrace what is uniquely yours and yours alone. Don’t believe everything you see in the media, stop comparing yourself and keep being beautiful- inside and out!

Love,

Dorothy in Sin City


"Home is knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage. If we know ourselves, we're always home. Anywhere." -Glinda

Toto

On her quest to find the Wizard, Dorothy had a constant companion named Toto.  Throughout her journey, Toto was there to talk to, warned her of impending danger or imposters, all by barking of course. The saying “Man’s best friend” couldn’t be more true about our furry sidekicks. There’s nothing in this world that will love you as unconditionally as your dog.  Like Toto, they are more loyal, more dependable and more happy to see you when you get home than many people are.

On Christmas Eve 2015, I received an incredible surprise! My own Toto. A ball of fluff disguised as a 1lb Morkie (Maltese and Yorkie Mix).  I named her, Nike. Here's why...

Nike and I on Christmas Eve

Years ago on an amazing trip with my mom in Europe, we traveled through a few cities in Greece, as well as the ancient city of Ephesus, Turkey. There I learned about the Greek Goddess of Victory, Nike.  Most people only equate the name with the popular athletic clothing brand, but even that brand was named after the Goddess herself. It is believed that Nike would reward victors with Glory and Fame, symbolized by a wreath of bay leaves. I was already a fan of the clothing brand, but this story made love Nike even more. On that day, I told my mom that I would like to get a little dog and name her Nike someday. The Goddess again showed up in my life my senior year of college in Art History class when I learned about my favorite sculpture Nike of Samothrace, or Winged Victory of Samothrace. She kept showing up in my life, until Nike finally made her way into it for real.

Since that Christmas Eve, just as I expected, Nike has become my constant companion. She has given me more love and loyalty than I could have imagined. She has made me step outside of myself and take care of another living thing. She has encouraged me to relax and enjoy walks around the neighborhood.  I didn’t name her after the famous “Swoosh”, I named her after a powerful Goddess who is all about victory and “winning” in life and it fits perfectly, on her and in my life.

Toto was also a physical representation of Dorothy’s intuition. She knew when someone was faking. (Yes, she.  Did you know that Toto was actually a female Terrier named Terry?)  Much like our instincts. Sometimes our gut just tells us something is "off."  Sometimes we know what is right, even if we don’t want that to be the case. Like Toto, our instinctual mind knows… we just have to listen to it bark a little. 

Like Toto, Nike has kept me in check in many ways. It’s crazy to say, but I truly think that she showed up at the perfect time in my life… to love me without question, to help me get on the right track, to start enjoying life more and to continue “winning”. It’s amazing how a pet can enrich your life so much.

So Nike, we may not be in Kansas anymore, but we are going to have fun wherever we travel… together.

Love, 
Dorothy in Sin City

Nike has grown lots! She is now 5 months old and 4.32lbs!

Somewhere Over The Rainbow...

Rainbows often come after a storm has passed. They symbolize hope or show that beautiful things can come from something not as beautiful. When those magical rainbows show up in your life, they're worth stopping for a moment and basking in its light.

Often times we are stuck in the storms that rock our foundation. It seems as though when one storm ends, another begins almost instantly. When will the clouds part? When will we see that rainbow once again? When will the storm settle down? 

The truth is that the storms are never going to fully stop. The only thing that will possibly change is how you see the storm. Do you realize that the storm is bringing new life? Do you realize that even though the storm may not be what you want, it will bring greater things for your future and the world you live in? Do you realize that there is beauty within the storm? Do you step outside and feel the rain on your skin? Or do you bury yourself beneath false ideas of protection against the storm?

It's been two years since I moved to Las Vegas. Storms have come and gone. I've seen rainbows and experienced spectacular beauty. I've had the courage to step outside and embrace the storms like never before. I've never once questioned the purpose of the storms in my life... I've always known there was a reason, but naturally I have asked "When will I see the rainbow?" Sometimes it comes sooner than expected, other times I am made to wait. But it ALWAYS comes, and always will. 

The storms can drown you if you let them. I am choosing not to allow them to define me, but to refine me. So that when that rainbow illuminates the sky, I can take that moment to reflect and thank the storm for the gift of clarity that it has provided me.

The Wizard

I've been thinking a lot lately about the people in my life. Specifically my mentors, or as I'd like to call them, my wizards.  It is incredible to me to see the amazing people that have been placed in my life. How did I get so lucky? 

Although I've been learning much from all of them about life, business and specific fields of work.... I'm learning so much about myself. The thing about these wizards is that they can teach me everything they know along my yellow brick road, but ultimately it's up to me what I do with the information that they so willingly give me. 

My wizards believe in me. My wizards know me well, and know how to help me. My wizards show up for me, encourage and challenge me. My wizards are honest with me. My wizards hold me accountable. My wizards care about me. 

Although it may seem like your life is determined by the opportunities you're given, rather it is determined by the opportunities that you give yourself and the ones that you take. So in reality, the great and powerful one is not the wizard, it is you... Just a regular person, who can accomplish great, powerful and wonderful things if you give yourself the chance. It is all in your mind... Will you let another determine your future? Or will you realize that only you have the power to create it? It's time to step out from behind the curtain and give all that you are to everything that you do. 

There’s No Place Like Home

Home is not just where you’re from, the house you lived in and the yard you played in… it’s the people who made you who you are today. The ones who shaped your life and taught you by their example. The ones who stood behind you to support you, in front of you to protect you and beside you to help guide you. It’s not about the place you dwelt, but about those that you came in contact with who forever changed your life.

I’ve been blessed in my life with the quality of people who I have been surrounded by. It’s church leaders like Wendy Morris and Darci Evans who were amazing examples to me of the kind of woman that I want to become. It’s life long friends like Kristen Moss, who have always been there to cheer me up, give me advice, make me laugh and experience life with me. It’s caring teachers like Maura Landers and Michele Weith who believed in me from the beginning and sacrificed for me so that I could be where I am today. It’s my siblings Rhen, Spencer, Keaton and Krissy who remind me to laugh and not take life too seriously… but who also face life head on and create amazing things to show for their hard work with flair and pizzazz! It’s my parents who remind me who I am, what I’m capable of and what I want to become. Who sacrifice everything they have to make me happy and who have shown me that no matter what you’re given in life or what you deal with, you can always make something better of it and get to where you want to be with hard work and persistence. It’s my grandparents who have shown me that no adversity should hold you back and that life is about your loved ones and cherishing the time you get to spend with them.

It’s sitting around in the living room surrounded by your family on Christmas Eve, watching everyone laugh and interact with each other and just thinking to yourself, “This is it… This is what life is about”.

There are so many more people who have influenced my life, but these are just a few that I was able to see and hug once more while I was home in Kansas. 

There truly is no place like home to remind you who you are and why. No one succeeds in life because they did it alone. They succeed because of the people behind the scenes working on their behalf. Thank you to my behind the scenes crew! Love you all!

XOXO,

Dorothy in Sin City

Let's RiSE

We all have a movie scene that from the moment we saw it, we’ve wanted to live it out in real life. For me it was the scene in the movie Tangled where Rapunzel was surrounded by thousands of floating lanterns. This past weekend I got to live out that scene at the RiSE Festival.

R- is for Rapunzel of course! I got to feel like a Disney princess for a night. What’s cooler than that?! Dream come true.

I-Inspiration. My mother and I were inspired to use our first lantern to write all the things that we wanted to let go of… “our crap” is what we called it. Our second was for our dreams. The whole event was full of inspiration. Seeing thousands of people writing on lanterns to release them into the sky... kind of incredible.

S-Surrounded and Speechless. The entire crowd lit and released their first lanterns all at once. In “3… 2… 1…” thousands of lanterns were released and the sky lit up with dreams of those that I was surrounded by. It was truly magical. I was in awe and completely speechless.

E- Emotions. It was a surprisingly emotional experience. As my mother and I wrote on the lanterns, the things we wanted to let go and the things we were dreaming of, tears filled my eyes… Here I was, being given a chance to physically let go of what has been holding me back. You could feel the energy of everyone in the crowd. It was one of the most spiritual and tranquil feelings I’ve had. After the first lantern release, my mother and I stood there, crying happy tears, trying to take in this incredible moment that we had been given. We hugged each other and she said to me “This is so cool!” then we cried some more happy tears.

As incredible as the night was, one of the most tangible emotions was Gratitude. As I stood watching thousands of lanterns float higher and higher above my head I was overwhelmed with gratitude... grateful that the woman who has supported me through the toughest of times and the happiest, was standing beside me to experience this moment with me. Grateful that she knew how much this event meant to me, so she extended her trip to make sure that she could accompany me and make it special. We lit a few more lanterns and released them. Each time just as magical as the previous.

THANK YOU!

When we were preparing our final lantern my mom looked at me and asked “What do you want to write on it?” I smiled and said “I kind of just want to write ‘Thank You’”. She smiled and nodded, because she had had the same thought. Thank You to the Rise Festival for making my dream come true! Thank You to the universe for the abundance of gifts! Thank You to God for giving me such a spiritual experience! And Thank You to my mother for sticking beside me!

THE LESSON:

I’m vowing to let go of my crap and chase my dreams. It’s time that we all take a moment out of our hectic lives and purge ourselves of those things that no longer serve us. It’s time to let go of the guilt, the self-doubt, the judgment and let yourself live in a higher state of mind where only the good can thrive. I was able to physically write my “crap” on a lantern and “let it go” into the sky, where it is no longer attached to me. Whatever works for you… just do it. Let yourself live! Stop holding yourself back.

It’s fall, the season of letting your dead weight fall to the ground. So what are you still holding on to? Is it serving you? No? Then let it go. Allow yourself to live in freedom from the things that don’t serve you.

Together we will RiSE.

XOXO,

Dorothy in Sin City