Courage VS Confidence

“You have plenty of courage, I am sure. All you need is confidence in yourself. There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid and that kind of courage you have in plenty” -The Wizard of Oz

This quote caught my attention a while back and has been on my mind recently. 

Sometimes I feel like I have tons of courage and, other times I feel like I have very little, but is it COURAGE that I’m lacking, or the CONFIDENCE to use that courage? I had the courage to move to Las Vegas. I had the courage to go cliff jumping (which was huge for me, by the way.  A year ago, I don’t think I would have done that). I had the courage to take risks and make huge life decisions. Then again, sometimes doing the smallest thing makes me feel vulnerable and seems to completely paralyze me.

So that must make it more about confidence, which I think most people struggle with on some level.  Sure, there are a few people in the world who are 100% confident in themselves and their abilities, but I think most of us often underestimate ourselves and what we are capable of.  The question I keep asking myself is, WHY?  It could be because of our childhood experiences, traumatic events, societal “norms”, our own wiring-of-our-brains, etc., but how long do we allow these things to dictate our future before we realize and recognize our own self worth? Personally, I know that I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t realize mine on some level, but I still wonder why I'm not always able to confidently and comfortably do exactly what I set out to do.

I think it starts with the belief that I can. You cannot passionately change your life without first, believing. You cannot step onto the stage wanting to give your most perfect performance without even a small part of you believing that you have the ability to do so.

Over a year ago I posted a photo on Instagram that said “What if, all of a sudden people discovered their true power and shed the shackles of a system that enslaves them?”  What IF everyone did start believing in themselves, their power and abilities? This world would change immensely! But I cannot change the world, so I'm starting with me to be better, be more confident and discover my true power.  I may doubt myself along the way, but I know that I’m capable.

Even though I'm beginning to realize that I may have more in common with the Cowardly Lion than I'd like to admit, I am also understanding that, in the end, he found out that it’s not that he didn’t have courage, but just that he didn’t fully believe in his own abilities.  He didn't trust in himself enough to use the courage that was innately within him. So maybe it's okay to have a little Cowardly Lion in me, maybe we all have some, we just get to believe and know that we have plenty of courage to face our fears.

XOXO,

Dorothy in Sin City

Up, Up and Away

Shortly after I made the move to Sin City

A year ago today, I boarded a flight to Las Vegas from Kansas City to start my new life.  It was, by far, the scariest thing I had ever done.  It felt surreal.  As my parents drove me to the airport and walked with me inside the terminal, I couldn’t believe what was about to happen.  We sat outside the gate until the last possible moment.  Then, I slowly got up, burst into tears, hugged them both and walked through the doors with tears still streaming down my face.  I boarded the plane feeling like I was experiencing an out-of-body moment.  The flight seemed like the longest three hours of my life.  I was anxious and scared, but I just wanted to get to Vegas as soon as possible to get settled and make it all seem more real…which I’m not has sure has fully happened to this day.  I remember lugging my two huge suitcases to the taxi line and getting in the taxi.  The driver asked me, “Are you from here or just visiting?”  As strange as it was to hear myself say it, I replied, “I live here.”   As scary as that day was, I always knew that I was doing the right thing.  On the plane I wrote in my journal, “I have full faith that I’m where I’m supposed to be, but it’s scary. The unknown is scary, but everything will work out.  I just want to be happy. I’m anxious to see what awaits me in Sin City.”

It’s crazy to look back and see how much my life has changed since that day.  My surroundings have changed, my day to day life has changed, my friends and relationships have changed, my comforts have changed and even I have changed.  Do I regret that drastic move?  Never.  It’s become the best decision that I ever made.

In all honesty, I’m really proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished and learned his past year.  I know I still have a lot to learn and haven’t begun to realize all I am capable of, but for the year I’ve been here, I’ve done a lot.

The first few months here in Vegas, I was really unhappy.  I was having a hard time fitting in and finding where I belonged.  I missed my family and the comforts that I had in Kansas City.  I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity instead of changing it, because I was afraid of stepping outside of my comfort zone to make a difference in my life.  When I finally got over myself, took a step back, humbled myself and really looked at my life and where I was, that’s when things changed.  I made moves that needed to happen and I put my life in better order.  THAT’S when I finally became happy and THAT’S when my life here in Vegas started falling into place.  I can honestly say now that I am so happy here in Vegas.  I have great friends and supportive people around me, who I know will always be there for me. I have jobs that I love, a roof over my head, a car to drive and food in my fridge. I’ve been incredibly blessed.

I’ve learned a lot (you can read about some of those lessons in my last post.)  I’ve grown a ton and I feel like the same person, but a better version of me.  Every year around January 1^st, I always think about how awesome my year has been and never expect the next one to top the last, but it always does. If this first year in Vegas is any indication of what my next year will be, I better buckle up and hold on! This hot air balloon's fire is still burning and the basket’s going higher and higher. If I just keep finding my courage, following my heart and using the lessons I’ve learned… I know It’s gonna be an awesome ride!

XOXO,
Dorothy in Sin City